What Your Birth Order Can Say About Your Parenting Style
Did you know, your personal parenting style is influenced by many factors? One such factor can be your birth order as this affects your overall personality as well. Kevin Leman, the author of The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are, is the one who came up with this theory that suggests that your place in line may predict what you are destined to be like as a parent. So, why don’t you read on and tell us if his predictions were accurate? Here’s what your birth order can say about your parenting style.
1. The Oldest Child
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The firstborn child is usually the leader of the pack and tends to be goal oriented and high achievers. They are more likely to be perfectionists who strive to have successful careers and personal lives. But this can also make them people pleasers who focus too intently on being reliable and responsible. However, it is these character traits that make them feel capable and self-confident. However, they have a propensity to get things right and have a natural fear of failure and making mistakes. This can make them inflexible and quite rigid.
This can translate into them having high expectations of their own kids. If you’re a firstborn parent, your type A personality, and constant need for organization and structure will reflect in your parenting style. You are also the type to contemplate what your siblings were like as children to ensure that your own kids don’t face the same struggles they did. You may also have the tendency to over-identify yourself with your child and become too demanding. However, once you have 2 or more kids to keep you on your toes, this need will fade out.
2. Middle Children
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The middle child is usually considered the pacemaker of the family. This is because they realize that the only way to fit in once the youngest sibling arrives is to compromise. And because they have this ability to negotiate they usually have bigger social circles and are well liked. They are more flexible and learn to go with the flow. However, they can be people pleasers who appreciate their friendships more than family.
When a middle child becomes a parent they tend to pay close attention to their family to make up for all the attention they did not receive from their own parents. They are more likely to listen to their kids and take their needs into consideration. And they make decisions based on what is best for the entire family.
3. The Youngest Child
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It’s a well known fact that the babies of the family usually get a lot more freedom than their siblings did. And because of this, they tend to be more independent and confident. They are also free-spirited, out-going and fun-loving. The youngest is more likely to take risks and be more adventurous. They have less responsibilities and therefore can be carefree.
Youngest children become parents and help their own kids seek out adventure as well. They trust their intuition when it comes to making important family decisions but might have some issues when it comes to establishing rules and routine at home. However, it’s important to remember that this too is an integral part of being a good parent. Sometimes they can be too soft on their kids and need to work on their organizational skills.
4. Only Child
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Only children tend to be similar to firstborn kids in the way that they are confident, self-reliant, successful and born leaders. However, they too, are susceptible to perfectionism. And they can be egotistical and less inclined to share as they have never not been the center of attention. But only children are also ambitious, energetic and enterprising. They have grown up with only adults around and therefore are more verbal and mature from a young age.
Only kids could have problems creating their own family as adults. It can take them a while to seep into the role of a parent if they never had to take care of their own parents. And this is because they did not have any siblings to look after and share with. So the concept can be entirely new to them. However they have a great balance of structure and free-spirited nature to become good parents. However, they need a lot of alone time as they were mostly alone growing up. So, they might schedule mini trips or me time more often than the aforementioned categories. This isn’t a bad thing though as they come back energized and ready to take on new challenges.
No matter where you fall on the family line, you are your own person and will eventually figure out how best to parent your kids. But, did this theory hold some truth for you? How accurate was it? Let us know in the comments section and happy parenting!
Sources
- The New Birth Order Book, NLA
